At first glance, a stranger might think that I have well-behaved children who do not spoil the carpet and swing from the rafters of our publicly tidy (privately trashed) home. This is a grave misconception. Allow me to take you on a virtual tour of the slight and oh-so subtle ways my children seek to destroy this house.

Look closely. This is what happens after your children have knocked the lamp off the end table 147 times.

Just another victim.

Wow, what a lovely shelf...

With such lovely artwork.

There was a time this tree was lush with leaves. Then Rex made it into his treehouse and gave his animals free reign to pillage it of all things green.

This is why I shop at Ikea. It's cheap enough that when they destroy it, I don't feel too horrible.

Apparently, the ottoman did it.

Just another reason why we don't have any ceiling fans. After the kids ripped this one from the ceiling while in motion, we've decided a gaping hole with exposed wires is way more safe.
We clean. We decorate. We seek to create a home. They mess. They break. They persist in destructing a home. All in a day’s work. I guess it all depends on which side of the counter you sit on.





21 comments
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July 13, 2009 at 9:27 am
Barbara
Oh-drawings on the walls and shelves just kill me! But seriously, what kid hasn’t done that at least once in their life?
I’m curious about the ceiling fan—were they hanging from it? Cuz really, ever since “I’m the King of New York” on Newsies I’ve wanted to try that.
July 13, 2009 at 9:33 am
Kristina
Wow! And truthfully, my plants look like that and we are kid free.
July 13, 2009 at 11:01 am
Angie
Just tell people to squint & they won’t notice… I’m told we’ll miss these reminders of our chilldren when they’re gone. Maybe we can help “decorate” their homes when we come to visit the grandkids! 8^)
July 13, 2009 at 11:03 am
Jessie
Thank you! I need that this morning.
July 13, 2009 at 11:10 am
Camille
If you answer the door wearing nothing but bra and panties, noone will be the wiser about the gentle scuffings of your home.
Anyhoo……I hope you’re making plans to come up on the finale of the bachelorette. The girls are expecting you and your insightful comments.
July 13, 2009 at 11:23 am
Tiffany
I’m seriously laughing outloud. You have such a great way of turing situations into comics.
July 13, 2009 at 11:43 am
Royce
If I knew then what I know now I would’ve raised my kids in a barn.
July 13, 2009 at 12:14 pm
L.T. Elliot
Mine threw orange jello all over the front room, trying to hit the ceiling fan and have it splatter our new couch. I’m not buying new furniture until they’re in college. Or married. And living 2 states away.
July 13, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Michelle
Oh, I think I could’ve posted even MORE pictures! I guess I understand why my husband doesn’t want to replace the carpet for 10 mores years! And there is no point in buying a new car while they still drink juice boxes!
July 13, 2009 at 12:57 pm
reva
Oh, the fan HAS to be told. Is it in the archives?? If not, you must, MUST post about it please!
July 13, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Shelle-BlokThoughts
Oh good my house is NOT alone… thanks for making it feel better! lol!
July 13, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Melanie J
Yeah, I gave up the ridiculous notion that my house was going to be “nice” the second my son spilled all over our new coffee table and all I could muster was the energy to wave a baby wipe apathetically in the direction of the mess.
July 13, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Rachel Sue
I’m with Reva, the ceiling fan story must be told.
Mine have thrown things at the fan after seeing my husband do it. Nope, not kidding. I guess I just have to wait for the day that they get the idea to swing off the bunk beds from it.
July 13, 2009 at 3:45 pm
zstitches
I would totally trade your kids’ subtle destruction for my kids’ blatant destruction.
July 13, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Kari R.
In my house it’s the carpet. My poor carpet.
July 13, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Mel
My demon children don’t stop at the subtleness…in fact one just walked by and laughed evilly at the pictures…please help me!
July 13, 2009 at 11:09 pm
April
LOL! < real one!
July 14, 2009 at 5:05 am
Kiersten
Ah, aren’t kids great
July 14, 2009 at 5:39 pm
mother goose
so sweet! we are coming up on our anniversary soon too! I too laid floors with my man. Can’t say I look forward to doing it again. LOL
congrats.
July 20, 2009 at 12:49 am
susanlaz
hahahahahaha!
My favorite all-time answer to “Did you do this?” “whhhaaaatttt?” NO excuse, they all just asked that… and looked puzzled, head leaning to one side…thinking seriously.
DH asked me last Friday, “Where’s the bb gun?” “whhhhhaaaattt?”
(I jammed it somehow… shooting out the kitchen window, and then hid the evidence. OOPS! Did I provide the example to my kids?)
My husband said, “WHAT?” “Did you learn that from your kids?
Me…”whhhaaaatttt?”
July 20, 2009 at 7:31 am
InkMom
We have decided — I’m serious here — to only buy disposable furniture until our children are old enough to not destroy it. Which, I think, means forever.